I never got much of love or support as a kid and was always on my own since childhood. All I wanted in life was love, care, and peace. Materialistic things were never on my list but I didn't get what bare minimum I wanted like ever. Then I got married and things were a bit okay. A few months ago we all got terribly sick and it changed all equations of my life. My husband's nature turned to extreme and he's a different person altogether. He said terrible things he shouldn't and so much more happened with so many toxic incidents. I felt so heartbroken and bad with that negative atmosphere around me. I felt as if I wasted my life and career over nothing. That feeling hit me so hard that I couldn't control it in any way. I started losing interest in everything. I happen to be a very happy, funny, and energetic person. But after this as if I got drained and hopeless. I happen to do my chores happily, work all day, take walks, do yoga, and whatnot. I even happen to be happy seeing small things like chirping birds and sunsets. But after that, nothing or no one will make me feel good or happy. I just felt like staying in bed and doing nothing. I'll be either sleepless or sleeping too much. I will postpone the maximum worm to tomorrow by doing only the bare minimum. I felt like crying all day. I even talked with some of my friends about my condition. Some of them didn't understand it and laughed at me. Some understood and tried to help me but nothing helped much to be honest. I so miss being normal and myself so much that I want to get okay but don't know how. I'm trying everything I know about it thinking something might help. Let's see how it goes and how I recover...
(Sweta)
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